Friday, September 30, 2011

An Identity Shift

Well, I have been married for 20 days now. But it really sunk in for me today. I got my new license and bank card in the mail. They were the last to arrive after my social security card and credit cards, but the are truly the most important.

Now its for real.

I had a very odd feeling taking the old license out and going to put the new one into my wallet.

I have always known I would change my name and wanted to when I got married. I diligently practiced signing my new name and ordered knick knacks with our joined names emblazoned upon them. But man ohh man have I had a bit of a struggle with it now that its real.

The first was when I was at the DMV and the man at the counter handed me back my old license with the dreaded hole punch through it. The one that basically means "Hey there, I'm a useless piece of plastic now!" All of a sudden I felt like I was losing a little piece of myself.

Over the last 2 weeks at work I have had a hard time remembering to use my new name when signing for a package or leaving a voicemail. It just doesn't sound right yet. But then again, saying my old name doesn't sound right anymore either. I'm just stuck in limbo.

But boy howdy, when I took my old license out I almost had a shortness of breath. I was really, really this new name now? I'm a wife, with my husband's name, and the old me is just going to slowly fade away?

It was a sobering experience. Now my wallet is all full of my new name, and there are no cards left with my old. I know I will adjust quickly, but today I just needed a moment to reflect. I am SO happy to be the new me and share a last name with my husband. I'm a grown up wife now with a new name (and a hideous new picture)

Seriously, why the eff is it zoomed in so much farther?
You can't even see the necklace I purposely wore, man.
Goodbye, beautiful, skinny, tan 15-year-old me.

Anyone else out there have this feeling when they changed their name?

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